Tired ... Magic Beans

I'm pretty sure if I had giant boobs on my head I'd be pretty popular. Mere popularity is not enough for me, I'm a man of excess. So if I had boobs on my head I'd also like handles where my ears should be so that someone could drink from my boobs in case I was lactating.

While I'm at it, I'd be very popular if people could drink Root Beer from the lactating boobs on my head. Hell, I'd try to catch a spray or two. I do like Root Beer. But not warm Root Beer. I'd probably need to ice the tits down with...ice. Or something.

Oh, and if I had one blue eye and one yellow eye that would seal the deal.