Domestic Virtue

If I had a maid I would clean the house to a state of perfection before she arrived.

I would greet her at the door with the greatest of hugs and a warm, "How have you been?"

I would usher her to the coziest chair in the house and get her a nice cup of tea and we would sit around and chit-chat all day long.

I would fix her lunch and we would take a long afternoon nap to sleep off the food.

When five approached I would tell her I have a marvellous time and that I looked forward to her next visit.

After she left I would call her boss and complain that all she did was sat on my couch all day and gossip and eat my food and drink my finest tea. I'd demand that she be fired and to send a new maid next week.

Sometimes people really try to take advantage of my kindness.