Monday, November 28, 2005


I think whores would have a much better career if they would just send out those appointment reminder cards to all of their clients like the dentists do.

But then I thought to myself...I'll bet they've thought of this but they don't have the time to write up the proper format. Their expertise is in being a whore, not writing.

Since I've done a bit of writing...a bit here, a bit there...I thought I could document some kind of form letter that a whore could download from my site and use for free.

I do it out of love and admiration for whores, not because I enjoy doing things for people in general, understand.

Dear John,

I had a real nice time with you the other day/night. You looked very tone and also reminded me of Brad Pitt from that movie Fightclub.

I really liked the part where you:

( ) Let me suck you off.
( ) Hit it from the back like a madman.
( ) Put your penis where your wife never lets you.
( ) Rested your balls gently on my face.

I really appreciate the gift you left on the nightstand and I will be using it tonight to:

( ) Buy something nice.
( ) Buy milk for my baby.
( ) Buy crack.

I have a free hour or two and have tentatively penciled you in at __________________.


your devoted ______________.