Thursday, March 30, 2006

My yellow slicker is dirty from your ministrations

I'll never win the lottery.

My chance came on Sunday and I didn't snatch it. The lottery was at 111 million and I said to myself... one hundred eleven... that's a prime number. Shit, I should totally buy because the drawing is tonight and this is a prime number lottery.

Then I didn't.

I'm fucked on this score but that's ok because I have happiness and you can't buy that. Except prostitutes and drugs.

Secondarily I have in my breast pocket a near-full box of vaginal contraceptives in case you wanna make love with me later in the day (or maybe just blow jobs would be ok, too). It's a film. I put it on my tongue thinking it would be sweet and it wasn't.

You men would need to put the film all up there in the territory, too. I can't afford no more babies. And it works for men, too. I done it one time and I never did get prego from it.

Secondarily again, enough with that James Blunt song. I fucking get it. Beautiful, etc. Never sleep with you. I get it. I. get. it.

How would you like me to come to your house and say the same thing over and over, and in the malls and in your car, James? How would you like it? Well I'm gonna.

Like that Jap water torture but with the Blunt.