Monday, April 03, 2006

I don't wanna be buried in a pet cemetery.

I was going to take the family to Basic Instinct II, this weekend, when I realized two things:

1.) I don't want to see that old kooch staring me in the face.

2.) The first Basic Instinct sucked, even with young kooch.

Dear Hollywood,

If you're going to flash pussy on the screen, make it young.

Secondarily, here is some ascii art:


That is Laura Dern's vagina. At first I would not believe that it was perfectly round but she insisted upon showing me and it is, in fact, perfectly circular.

More ascii art. Here is what regular vaginas look like for those who aint seen one:


Vertical. Like a tall soldier waiting to go out on assignment and kill the menacing hoard. But soft and wet and charming.