Great news, everyone!! Lance Bass is gay! LOL! Finally he's gay! Isn't that wonderful! LOL!!!!!!

8/9/06 to do's:

Take clothes to dry-cleaner (remember starch the shirts)

Stop eating every god damned thing you see. Jesus.

Rewrite bible.

Get rid of most of Jew part.

Leave in line condemning the gays and the ones about no bacon for the Jews (more for Ho).

Add references to SARS, AIDS and the bird flu. Blame it on someone. (Jews or Gays or some other fringe group. Spin bottle as is customary.)

Rename Cain to David and Abel to Abdullah.

Give Jesus super powers--good ones like flight and iron hands and feet. Have Him save Cain.

Rewrite flood myth, substitute the one from Gilgamesh.

Give Moses a hook hand and string desert with iron cables. Make him swing around from place to place like they do in scout camp.

Edit the first three of NT so that it's one damn story instead of three of the same.

Shower.

Remeber that I ate beats last night and the pee's gonna look redder than normal.

Pray, pray, pray.

Check to see if enzite is working.

Pray one more time. Hard.