Wednesday, August 02, 2006

This title took a year from your life and gave it to me. A good year, too. Not those shitty last ones.

Let's pretend you have one of those tennis ball shooters and that the balls are made out of the literary style of The Celestine Prophecy and the perplexing popularity of The Davinci Code. Maybe you throw in a couple of good ideas to go along with the goo balls that you fire but mostly you have rhetoric and non-stop Tony Little scale hyperbole.

Now let's say that you have a racket which is made soley out of a desire to finish a book. It's generally a strong racket and no matter how many times you slam it down it never breaks. Not even when it should break. It just won't break.

Then let's say I been reading The Earth is Flat and that though the racket is cracked in several places I somehow got through that book which is a field of isn't this outsorcing a wonderful thing and then off to look at how bad our education system is. I should get some kind of award or semi-precious medal for finishing this miasma of tired opinion.

Let us just say that The Earth is Flat should have been edited to an eighteen paragraph op-ed piece and run in some Denver paper on some slow Sunday.

Secondarily, the other book which broke the racket was, The Last Temptation (A Dr. Tony Hill & Carol Jordan Mystery).

I tried to finish it, God knows I tried--ask Him--but the absurd meter and the predictable meter being so high made me stop about 66.6% through.

I even got a library fine from this terrible book. I'm going to dip the pennies in urine before I pay that one. Bloody urine. My urine.