Friday, September 01, 2006


I know the guy who wrote this article.

He's a sex offender but a pretty nice one.

Anne Coulter and I are worried about her vagina.

Well, she's worried.  She called me in as a consultant.  She heard I knew a thing or to about them (vaginas) and that I could probably give her some guidance into her issues.

She says they spit and say things when she wants them to be quiet and that they don't seal properly.

She likes to put long rows of staples or bobby pins, those metal ones, all in a straight line as wide as your hand all up in there.

Then she goes to the airports and the metal alarm shrieks and they wave the wand and she tells them she has a robotic vagina.  A metal muff she says sometimes when she's feeling naughty.

She tells me that they never check up there and when they do they say, "Miss, did you know your kooch is full of staples?"

"I wonder how them got up in there," she says and she laughs.

She knows that's not proper grammar but she tries to blend in with the lowest of the classes because they are her people.  Her "peeps."

So anyway, I was thinking it's probably the staples or bobby pins what is causing all of this mess for her but she says she won't stop.

So I made a vagina muzzle for her.  it's made of rubber with long, linen sashes that tie up over the shoulders.

It's very pretty.

I'll make you one, too.