They call me Captain Obvious

Wonderful news, I was stung by a wasp and I didn't even cry. 

Then I found an earwig in my stools.  There he was, just kind of floating there amidst the poops and papers.

Crazy earwig, wrong hole!

I bet he was sooo confused by the lack of tympanic membranes.  I bet as he crawled along that long, virgin road and it got darker and smellier he was all...wtf?

Plus maybe it was a girl and she wanted to lay her eggs all up in there.

I'll keep you posted if baby ear wigs come out of there.  I'll save them and raise them, of course.  Then I'll scan their bodies for the net.