If I was Letter Man I'd turn the word toil into the word masturbate which would make work a lot gooder

This is something of which I'm 37% sure of.

If you was to lay back up and list in the middle of the pool shouting, "Mayday, mayday, mayday," and citing your position as the middle of the Sargasso to the air.

At which point you then let loose foul tidal waves of viscous excrement out the port bow which spread about you like a squid fleeing terror?

And then after you were towed to safe harbor you later claimed to be a tanker run aground on an ice burgh?

I'll bet if you could get someone to half-believe that you believed what you were saying that there would be a ten to 13 percent decrease in the disgust factor during the cleanup phase. But I'll bet you would never get to go swimming there, again.

You'd have to play your cards right.