I'm taking a high dose of horny pills since you're out of town

I'm glad my calling wasn't to be a rap star because I'm not very good with rhyming and I don't have very many bitches and I'm not proficient with the word ain't, though I am working on it in my spare times (at night between drinks I whisper, "It ain't like that!" and sometimes I say ain't quite loudly but mostly I accentuate the word like).

I am, however, a very good break dancer and I could show you or teach you moves or show you moves if that's all you wanted.  Back so many years ago in the day I had a fine helicopter ability and also pop locking and the worm.  And the wave both left to right and also right to left and the dual-out worms from the center.  A move I created.

Remember how good I was and my parachute pants?  

I think a very nice job would be for me to become a professional break dancer and do break fights for people.  Something like a firefighter but for break dancing and even I have my own 911 number but not 911 because who wants to hassle that?

Let's say you had someone who was calling you out to perform some moves and you were naturally afraid of busting out some moves.  Well, you could call me and I could proxy break dance fight and if I win then all the glory to you and if I lose well...then that's bad for you.  I go home but you live with the shame of losing a break battle.  

And maybe a refund from me and maybe not.

I'd have to charge a lot, though.  Clearly my best days are behind me (in so many ways but I refer in this instance to the break) and I'm not as limber as I used to be and besides I run out of breath like this:.

There is a certain preordained number of times you can spin on your head on a piece of cardboard, after all (Jesus sets that number and the number is low because we spin through his grace).  

One bad move and snap, you're dead, pancake.  You got your fuckin neck broke, pancake.