Tuesday, September 11, 2007

I was cleaning out the garbage disposal and my arm got stuck and it took 20 minutes to grind my hand off but you're happy I freed my arm

You know I eschew politics.  Above all things I'm a simpleton and in politics it shows like bad.  In fact, I wish George had his brother's name--Jed.  That way I could chant, "Give me Jed til I'm dead." Cause that's what I want, four more years, and I know you want that, too.  Unless you're evil.  And stupid and an evil liberal retard from California or Hawaii.

That being said, I saw this clipping on the innernet and I wondered if you saw it.  Here it is in case you didn't read it.

GREENVILLE, S.C. - Republican presidential contender Fred Thompson said Monday that while Osama bin Laden needs to be caught and killed, the terrorist mastermind would get the due process of law.

Anyway, I like it.  Kill the son of a bitch.  But maybe I don't understand what due process is.  Is due process when you take someone to court and then kill them when it's over?  Or is there another due process that I had to learn in school because I'm so confused.

I wonder if he meant do process.  Like do process him with your guns, boys.

That sounds more like it to me.

Anyway, why didn't you tell me the VMAs would be good after 15 straight shitty years?  I really feel bad about you for not telling me and I missed them.

The last time they were good I think it was that I want my MTV video.  Which really deserved to be #1 and still technically should be #1.

Remember how many times I voted for that video?

And it won?

Pretty much you have me to thank for that.


I wonder what you're doing to celebrate the 911.

As for me, I'm going wassailing!  You know how much I love wassail--so much that I had wassailing poison, last year, remember?  Had to get my stomach pumped.

It might be a little early but I think it will be good to show the Muslims that we love Jesus and Christmas and that we aren't afraid to go around singing for booze.

Come along, won't you?