Don't leave your bed without your gun

If zombies started taking over the world I would be the kind of guy who stood behind the door hiding from them.

I'd have my gun in my sweaty palm, hand on the hilt, trigger pulled back ready to fire.

I'd hear them coming down the hall in that loping shuffle or that mad dash. When they got close enough I would jump out screaming madly...

They would see me and start coming over..which is my plan. I'd pump and pump the shaft urging the ammo out of the casing as the zombies get closer and closer.

Pump, pump, pump-pump-pump...

BLAM!

BLAM!

BLAM-BLAM-BLAM!

I'd spray semen all over the first three or four zombies as my penis errupted into their ranks. Zombies hate this but it causes no real damage.

This is how I'd like to go out if zombies started taking over because..let's face it..the zombies always win.