Sunday, May 01, 2005

Help me Obi Wan're my only hope

When Star Wars came out in the late 70s we always played guys with the neighborhood friends. Most wanted to be Luke or Han, never Darth Vader. Never Evil. For my part I wanted to be Leia.

I wanted to be a good guy but I also liked wearing women's clothes. That's not gay. There's science behind that. Rock hard science.

I always teamed up with Luke and we would have sex. Also not gay. That's role playing. I played like I was in love with Arthur Stevens (who played Luke).

Arthur and I always teamed up on Darth, Luke with his light saber and me standing back in my white robe--breasts pushing against the wet robe--robe wet from narrowly escaping the trash compactor on the prison level.. firing my blaster pistol at storm troopers. I had to use a robe instead of a dress because that's all I had back then.

I became famous for being Leia, people would point at me and proudly say, "Look, there's Leia. Where's Luke, Leia?"

I'd just flash them a little breast and offer a wry smile of being accepted in a community of caring people.

We were neighborhood celebreties until that final movie. Movie six. The one where Luke and Leia turn out to be brother and sister? People turned on us then. It's one thing to be the cute boy in a robe..quite another to be pretending to screw your brother, even if he is a Jedi.

Hey, there are those sick cunts Luke and Leia.

Hey, is it fucking your brother?

Things like that.

I guess I'm telling you this so that you can warn your kids..don't be queen Amidala. She might end up nailing her brother and then there will be teasing.