1, 2, 3 Not it!

What many people don't understand about Jesus is that He was very tired when He got into heaven after being pwnt by the Jews. Everyone was all, "Hey, Jesus! Welcome back, bro!"

Jesus was all, "Hey, thanks. I'm gonna go lay down, I just had a rough weekend."

For three days He slept and on Sunday God walked in and was like, "WTF? Do you know what day it is? You need to get back down there before it's too late."

Jesus was all...Crap!

What the Canadians don't understand is that the Monday after Easter is tax day and Jesus had to bust His ass to get back to file. Secondarily Easter is also called Boxing day in Canada on account of the Canadian propensity to get most things wrong about life. I read this in a textbook.

Anyway, Jesus, being no longer a Jew was terrible with Math. He tried to deduct everything and it became a grand mess. Paul said, "LOL! Jesus you can't deduct Mary M. as a business expense, you don't have any receipts! LOL!!"

Whereupon Jesus said, "Stfu, Paul, I never liked you."

Everyone kinda laughed at this because no one really liked Paul.

They later went out that night to a club and Jesus was very cautious to get receipts.