Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Please open a discretionary sex account in my name

I done a terrible thing.

I wanted to make a sports coat for my pet mouse so I took one of them razors that the retards use to jack themselves in the maw and I carefully removed the skin along the shaft of the very penis.

I wanted a skin that was thin and lightweight yet also smooth, soft and water repelent so that when my pet mouse goes a-strolling he won't get all wet.

It also had to be a long coat so that it could cover the tip of his nose to the very tip of his tail.

I considered going to a hospital and getting all the Jew tips but I didn't want patchwork, I wanted it to be relatively semeless so the water wouldn't moisten his too-soft fur.

As I was saying, I carefully cut the skin and it came right off. The only hard part was the cutting of the tender tip. I kinda hacked at that a bit until I realized that it was not to come off.

For healing purposes I encapsulated the wound in a sheath of crystalized salt nuggets.

The pain was delicious.

Not so delicious are the scab splitting erections that have been troubling me these many mornings.

I wake up with a moist blood betwixt the legs and a cry and a gasp and the blood that stains the sheets and the blood that stains everything else.