This is my foot, this is your ass.

I have a confession to make. I'm really from the future. I know this will come as a shock to most but I come to you from the year 2007.

I realize that this is only a few months away but I'm afraid I've fallen into a bit of a time warp syndrome...which is time traveller terminology for I've fucked it up again.

You see...in addition to the Jews and the Arabs working out their differences over the next several months, some dude will discover time travel.

My job in the future is to go back in time and kill him or his parents so that time travel is never invented.

Sadly, I fuck this up every time.

So we've been living the last 15 years or so for millenia.

And I'm real sorry about it.

The good news? In about eight months you'll see your dead mom again!

The bad news? She's still a bitch.