Je suis pomme fruit

Here are some things you can do for me today:

1.) Please shut up for a minute so I can get a thought through. Please. This is a nice way and I have some mean ways but hopefully the nice way will suffice.

2.) Stop cooking tuna casserole in the work microwaves at my work. This is a serious breach of omg how dum am I and you breached it big time. With a big breach bastard sword did you bust that hill with. I hope you get the fish disease that makes you go paralyzed.

3.) Go out and get me something nice like a blow job but not from the crack store where you like to shop, from a real nice store that has silver plated things.

4.) Stop staring at my crotch. You know I hate it when you do that but you keep doing it.

5.) Please make some acronyms and send them to me at work without explaining what they mean. I love that. It makes my teeth break from gritting glee.

6.) Give me a thousand dollars and keep it coming. I don't need it, but I want it so that I can be idle and gay and free like you have it.

7.) Teach me Latin but don't make it boring like you usually do.

8.) Travel back in time and kill Milton so I don't almost fail college.

9.) Translate the bible into arabic especially the new testy so the arabs go to hell for sure when they die.

10.) Fuck ten.