Sunday, May 31, 2009

Invented the wheel. Years ago.

Know what a bad movie would be?

Blog Day Afternoon.

Some guy sitting around and writing about what a bad experience he had at the Starbucks and then carefully looking for a picture that best depicts his terrible experience.

And it was terrible.

I asked for no foam?  It was like that fucking barrista didn't even listen. 

It was like this picture only less indeterminate brown people: http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/08_03/FoamBeachII2_800x513.jpg

Here's a picture of a bunny made out of foam: http://www.partyshelf.com/images/Easter%20Craft/Bunny_Foam_Cup.jpg

These guys look pretty cool: http://www.executivesurfclub.com/records/images/bubblepuppy.jpg

I have some sad news.  I'm a bit hung over.  It's like tearing words from my brain and they're in cement.  All stuck in there and confusingly there are also Barbie legs and clothes.

Plus I had great plans for yesterday.

One was to get my web site working so my next steps on world domination could continue but like the fucking etard that I am, I could not bend the great girth of the innernets to my will, so now I have to wait longer to dominate.  Plus probably technical support.  Plus I had a screenplay going to Land of the Lost and Will has come along and stole my idea.

Which is cool, he seems pretty nice.  Plus I wasn't doing anything with it.

The other thing was that I was going to see the Jagger girls and probably bed them all but instead I got drunk, turned the AC down to like fifty and bundled up in bed watching some terrible movie with Nicole Kidman.

It was the one where she fights aliens... And can't sleep.  Skip it.  Terrible.  Hated it through the whole thing.

Another thing is I uncovered a word in my brain and it's called sement.  Similar to the cement pond but Jethro is all greased up and when you hit the liquid it's thick and you don't want to get any in your mouth or vagina.

Try to use it in your daily conversations.

It's a little awkward to fit into most contexts but sometimes it fits perfectly.

Which is what words are for.

PS I found this web site today while looking for foam.  Foam led to bubbles.  Bubbles somehow led to this.  It's ... disturbing.  http://blueboychihuahuas.com/breeding/whelping/sadie/birthofalitter.html

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

check it, bitches

Monday, May 04, 2009

A fine brew the swine flu

Leave it to the Mexicans to create a pandemic that's too lazy to actually kill anyone.