Thursday, July 26, 2007

It's a beautiful day for a bus trip to England

I've revoked your access key because you broke the End User License Agreement (eula).

I'm afraid you've whored it all up and I can't even get it to boot anymore or do any of the things which it used to do so well and I can't believe you clicked Accept when you didn't mean to Accept the eula in the first place and instead replace our trust agreement with dirty deceit.

I've revoked your access key and now you have nowhere to do the things you need to do and I'm sorry but it was your folly which brought down the revocation of everything.

I may not even go to your wedding or bring you a wedding gift because of the eula situation.  I may not even show up to eat the free chicken pasta you're providing for 12 dollars a person.  

Unless there's an open bar.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Is the Lohan still in jail?

Let me start with a question of my own, if I may.

Isn't EST wonderful?  It's the greatest time zone in the whole world (even better than GMT, whatever that is) and I celebrate it because it's a truth and one which is new to me.

I used to think it was PST which was the best but now I see that PST is a bunch of fags.  Sorry PST (you fags).

I wish you had an ISBN number for a name so I could call you that instead of by your long, boring name, Angela.

Someone sent me a little something and at first I didn't get it but then I did.  

This is the quote he sent (you don't know him or I'd tell you his name (it's Jeremy, lol)):

ATLANTA - The courtroom was packed with supporters and cameras Friday as Georgia's top justices heard arguments over whether a young man serving a 10-year prison term for consensual oral sex with a fellow teenager should be freed.

Wilson's lawyer, B.J. Bernstein, said that Wilson's decade-long mandatory sentence violated the constitutional ban on cruel and unusual punishment.

B.J. Bernstein.  You can't make that shit up.  I mean, you can, but it's very boring when you do it.  But when it's irl, it's pretty funny.

So I got to thinking...the deep south is a bad venue to plan a bj festival--even a consensual one.

Finally, I guess I can tell you that I read the first Cormic McCarthy book and the only complaint is that his name is hard to spell.  Too hard.  As if he lorded it over you and he does.

I read The Road and the only thing it lacked was a healthy dose of tna (tits AND ass) and zombies and zombie dogs.  But it was pretty good other than that, you should probly borrow my copy, I wrote lots of notes so that you'll be able to understand better.

Oprah read it too.  She really did like it quite well, like I done.