Monday, June 25, 2007

Guess what RIAA? I'm stealing all your nice things.

Please, someone update me on the Paris Hilton sitchy.  I've been out of the country for a couple weeks doing fund raising measures and have been out of touch.

Properly said, I have not been out of the Nebraska territories, not necessarily the country but I have been doing fund raising activities to support my agenda.

Someone, please tell me if the LA armies have raised up and freed Paris from her unfair prosecution or that the terror mobs I've been trying to hire, tell me if the terror mobs have made their blow agains the LA jail and legal system.

You see, I've been on a tour of the south and all the while I'm staying in Hilton's and hotels owned by Hilton's in order to add my small part to the Paris defense fund and to raise monies for the terror hoard mobs.

Let me tell you, it's been nice.  I mostly spent my time watching scrambled pron channels.  Can't scramble sound.  That's the key to the scrambling, a high volume and a keen imagination.

I've also been eating at the free breakfasts you get and I must admit that I ate more in free omlettes than I paid in room fees and I'm sorry about that Paris, but you know how good those free omlettes can taste when they're loaded with bacon.

And I must tell you because you don't know things, those beads really work.

Not the anals, those work but in a different way.  The boob beads.

It's like magic, you show a girl a bead and like a contract, she shows you things.

Not show so much as pelt.  Pelt a girl with a bead and the windows of the heavens peep open just a bit to reveal some sun.

I was going to say we should cut our losses on the south and let them go before this tour but after the bead incident...

I say we let the stay a little longer.

Friday, June 08, 2007

45 days is not so bad at 3 days per day like some virtual time warp.

Dear Jesus,

Please send down an army of angels (or at least six very strong ones who aren't prone to sodomy (unlike the ones sent to Lot(for they'll be going into deep prison full of malvirtue))) to rescue Paris Hilton from jail.

She has a bad case of something and they freed her from the odious bonds of slavery from drunk driving which she's sorry for and that's enough but now they want her blood.

P.S. I want nothing in return for this kind prayer unless you think I deserve a little something for it.

And then I read this on the innernet: "It isn't wise to keep a person in jail with her problem over an extended period of time and let the problem get worse," Baca told the Los Angeles Times on Thursday.

And I said to myself, "Yes.  This is very true.  That's a very serious problem for an extended period of jail.  Of course it will get worse, right?"

But then I wondered to myself...what if it's TB?

I bet Paris has the TB like that douchebag lawyer what flew around the world so he could get married.  

I bet LiLo's dad done it to her.

He's a madman.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

I've got a million megabytes of megamemory in store

I golfed with a ladies set of golf clubs and now i have a yeast infection.  I've been drinking cranapple juice but it still itches real bad.

I'll bet mean people get so pissed off when they see those Mean People Suck bumper stickers.  Plus it's dangerous, right?  I mean if it's a mean person they could shoot you, or worse, so I just don't even put them on my car.  The bumper stickers.  It's not like Jews suck cause what would they do?  LOL.  Sing you a Koran verse?  I doubt it.

I also may get one what says, Muslim Men Between the ages of 17 and 37 Suck.  What are they going to do, quickly run up and suicide bomb you?  LOL.  I don't think so.

So anyway, I hope that when I go to jail that people start to respect me more of a Paris Hilton figure than that of her trash sister Nicky Hilton (I hate her so bad) like they currently do.  I try to have my guiding principles follow hers and I got a new dog that's small like what she has but it's not a purebred, lol.

But I could be going to jail soon from this and that and parole issues that I was framed on and I guess a hunger strike is the way out of that mess.  But I really could use a little extra fanfaire like what she has got.  So I'm doing her kind of things, now like taping the sex should that opportunity ever happen and I'm praying it will, some day.

Here's a picture I would have made had I thought of it (I didn't think of it except after I saw it then I had quite a thought):